I hate myself

There have been a few times when I’ve been sexually assaulted and sometimes it haunts my mind. I was never raped but I have been molested. My stepdad molested me from when I was 14 until I was 17. I didn’t want my stepdad to get arrested however because I have 5 younger siblings that my parents have to look after and my mom can’t support them on her own. Other times I’ve had men corner me at my job and try to kiss me and there was a time when I went on a date with a man and he kept forcing himself on me. When I was 17 there were a lot of men who would hit on me and make me severely uncomfortable. One time a man and his friend even stayed in the parking lot of my job, waiting for me to get off. I’m 20 now and things like this don’t happen anymore but I really hate myself for letting myself be in those positions. I could’ve tried harder to keep those guys away from me. I don’t feel strong for making it through those situations, I feel sick. I want to crawl in a hole and die. I don’t understand why all of this still bothers me now.