Yet again, another negative

My wife and I have been trying for years using all the methods we can think of nothings worked and her father passed away Saturday we were awaiting to take a test yesterday as soon as I took the test wiped... there was light pink and today I started my period it’s been a hell of two weeks preparing for this and service Saturday we want this blessing more than anything and it’s so hard not to get discouraged and say “ I give up” how do you keep yourself positive and try again? With straight couples it’s different you can try anytime but with us being two women in a marriage it’s frustrating bc we time everything right pay for the Sperm online from cyrobank and it’s not cheap then the waiting of two weeks the keeping healthy it’s exhausting