So March 24th I found out I was pregnant and was overjoyed. Since I’ve had two miscarriages I called my OB and started coming in for blood test. My HCG and progesterone were low again and I was started on a supplement. Levels were:

3/26 - 349

3/29 - 748

4/2 - 916

4/3 I had an ultrasound and the yolk and sac measured 5.2 weeks. I was told with my levels the pregnancy wouldn’t be viable and was surprised when they found a heartbeat via ultrasound. The heartbeat was 114 bpm and the fetal pole only measured 5.5 - a week behind.

This entire time my midwife has been telling me the pregnancy will not be viable. On top of that I’m getting married May 4th and my fiancé keeps making it so well known that he does not want a kid right now. So now instead of fighting about it we barely talk - ignoring the white elephant in the room.

Between the baby, the wedding, and my new job I’m falling apart. I want to have hope but I don’t know if I can take another heartbreak. And I can’t even speak to the one damn person who I’m supposed to look to for support.

Anyways, should I even have hope that this pregnancy could continue to a healthy baby? I’m sorry this turned into a rant. Things are just so hard right now...