I need some feedback from other moms out there please!

So I’ll try to make this as short as I possibly can.

When I was about 3 or 4 months pregnant we had some financial issues and ended up moving in with my in laws. At first it was alright.. until the baby got here. Now I hate living here. And I’m trying to figure out if I’m falling into some sort of PPD.

My son is my second child, and second c-section, and I have a 4 year old daughter. My kids are my life and I have never regretted them or had any thoughts of wishing I didn’t have them or thoughts of hurting them. What I have felt is so much guilt about not being able to give my first child the attention she once had and also for my newborn son that his mother is feeling so bad about herself.

My husband started a new job when the baby was 1 week old and works 6am to 6pm mon-fri. We need him to work that often in order to get out of his parents house and for us to be able to support 2 children when we do. But it’s really putting a strain on me. I thought that it would affect our relationship, which I was wrong about because my husband is 100% supportive, it’s just affecting me personally. I was so used to him being around all the time since before he was only working part time that it’s really getting to me.

So basically I just feel like I’m overwhelmed and alone. I feel like I’m just “mom” and not ME anymore. And I would do anything for my kids but I don’t wanna lose myself along the way. I’m still in pain from my c section and I feel awful about my body. If this is the beginning stages of depression I want to catch it before I lose control completely of how I’m feeling.

If anyone actually took the time to read this whole thing, thank you. I didn’t really do a good job of keeping it short. But I’d really appreciate your opinions or experiences.