6 Days From Induction

First off, I’m beyond excited for my sweet boy to arrive. This is my last pregnancy & I’m completely overwhelmed with emotions. I feel like I’m failing as a mom already to my first child (he’s 10). I’ve had to miss out on so much with him because I’ve always been a single parent with no help. It’s always been out on me to make things happen & make sure we’re taken care of. Now I’ve had to be off work since January & I have enjoyed having time with him I normally wouldn’t get. But now I’m getting ready to have my last baby, I feel like I’m shorting him too. I’m so stressed out financially due to being off work so long already that I know I can’t survive being off until I get released from my dr. I don’t feel like it’s fair to either of my kids, I feel like I’m abandoning them. My oldest knows & is old enough he understands why I’ve always had to work so much. But now I’ve got 2 kids & my parents used to help with my oldest after school while I worked. I was just told they can’t help with both kids, so I have no idea what I’m going to do. I don’t want to leave them, I hate being gone. But I have to provide for them. My oldest has NEVER been to daycare or anything remotely close to it, I don’t want my baby to either. Then I feel so guilty that I’m stressing out instead of soaking up the last few days of being pregnant. I have nobody to talk to that understands where I’m coming from, everyone just tells me to suck it up. Im not expecting a hand out from anyone, I’ve never been that type. But I guess a little help would be nice right now.