Postpartum anger

I'm 6 weeks postpartum and I think I have a version of postpartum depression.

I am not sad of upset. But I get angry very easily. I've said some harsh things to my family since having baby. And the smallest things set me off.

With baby I am fine during the day and love on him and just want to spend all my time with him.

At night things change. When he wont stop crying and is keeping me up, I get so angry. I yell at him, I tell him I hate him, I shove the pacifier in his mouth. I'm very mean to him. I have the urge to hurt him. I feel like I cant control myself.

I don't want to hurt him. And after I yell at him I feel bad. The next morning i find myself crying thinking about everything that happened.

I worry that one night I will really hurt him.

Its getting harder to control my anger with him...

Does anyone else experience this? I go to my doctor next week and I will explain this to her.

I'm hoping there is a medication I can take...

I tried telling my bf what was going on, but he just let it go in one ear and out the other.

Please tell me I'm not the only one experiencing something similar.... the rage is killing me... I dont want to be like this.