It’s just not fair.

I wasn’t ready for a baby when the pill failed.

But I’m glad for the surprise blessing.

I wasn’t ready when they told me I had to deliver 3 hours away because of my BMI.

But I’m glad that I’ll be getting the best care.

I wasn’t ready when they told me my little boy has Tetralogy of Fallot.

It’s not fair that I needed to be told this.

I’m not ready to send my newborn into surgery.

And I don’t want to be ready I don’t want him to have this heart defect.

I want him to be healthy, but he’s not.

I feel angry that I can’t do anything to make him better.

I feel blessed that it’s something that the doctors can help.

I don’t feel ready for anything but time keeps moving.

I hope and prey that this is the only bad news I get.

I hope and prey that it’s not as bad as they say.

I’m scared and trying so hard to be strong, I just want him to be ok.