Why is attraction so illogical??? 😤

So the story is that last year, I met this guy on tinder. I didn’t really expect anything more than a hookup at the time. We met up, hung out at his place “Netflix and chilling”, and almost went all the way with him (I changed my mind about sex and he respected that so we just ended up making out shirtless). We saw each other one more time last May, which reinforced my attraction.

The thing is, over the next few months, I figured out that he had a girlfriend and basically I was his side hoe. Unfortunately, my attraction somehow blew into a full on crush (bc of intelligence, personality, humor, etc), and I was extremely hurt even though I have no right to be. He follows me on some social media, and I couldn’t help but to crave his attention sometimes. Everyone I tell my situation to tells me I should completely cut myself off, which is logical. But i can never bring myself to. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even be seriously interested in any other guy at my campus (we’re in college although in different years and diff schools across states) because in the back of my mind, I know what I want and I want him.

I know that he’s not going to be a good boyfriend (obviously, since he cheated on his 3-yr gf with me) but the dumb part of me wants to just have... one more time with him? I think its because of unresolved sexual tension but also because i like knowing that he’s into me (I noticed a resemblance btwn his gf and I) and because his personality made me so happy. We actually had a random convo out of nowhere very recently, and I told him he could hang if he is in the area once he graduates.

So I guess my question is: was that a dumb thing to say, and what should be the next course of action? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on until I get what I want, which makes life so much more frustrating.

(Side not about his gf: I’ve done some snooping through social media and they might not be together anymore but I know this doesn’t change what happened when they WERE together.)

Sorry for the long rant, I’ve been feeling really emotional lately and I don’t have anywhere else to put this without annoying other ppl...