Relationship Troubles

Treasure • Mother to Greyson 💙Aug 2 17 and Gabriel 10 26 19 💙

Long Post.

I just need to vent. My so and I have been together for 7 years and we have a one year old and another Baby on the way. We met when I was 16 and we've been together ever since. I grew up with the idea that a family is suppose to be the mom, dad, and the Babies together and that's what I've always wanted but now it feels like that only happens in fairytales.

I thought that when you Love someone you stay with them or stick by them and try to work through everything. I've been through a lot with my so over the years. Lying, cheating, verbal and emotional abuse, alcohol, etc. All I want is to be able to talk about these things that have bothered me over the years and some how find a way to get over all the distance that grew between us. But when I try to talk he avoids it or changes the subject. We only really see each other on the weekends now when me and Baby go stay with him and we barely text or call throughout the day and fight so often. It feels like I think things are ok one day then he talks about breaking up and disappearing the next. I feel like I'm always upset just about every other day. He tells me that he can't trust me because I go to others to talk about our problems like my family or Counceling instead of going to him, that I'm a liar, playing games all the time, never here when he needs me, and that I make promises I never keep and lead him on all the time when I don't want to do sexual things that I'm uncomfortable with. When he talks about breaking up or calls me to try to talk, he won't let me say anything or try to talk to him and hangs up on me if there are other people around or if our child comes in the room talking or yelling, etc.

I don't know what to do. I Love him so Much and I don't understand why he's been treating me this way or why he's acting like this. I want everything to work out and us be a Happy family together one day. I see some dad's really help the moms take care of the Babies when they're together and even when we don't live together we still stay on the weekends and I feel like me and his mom are the ones that do most of the work. I want to believe that it's possible to have a Happy modern family like both biological parents and the kids together where they go out of their way to care for each other and do things to make the other person Happy but I'm starting to believe that things like that might just be fairytales like what you see on Hallmark movies lol. I don't know how to get past all this distance between us from everything that's happened.