Would you be upset?

I go down on my man alllllll the time. He walks in the door and I drop to my knees in an instant (whether it was because I wanted to or he asked me to). He walks up to me and sticks it in my mouth and I start sucking (I don’t mind). He rarely goes down on me, if he does, its typically via “69.” I don’t really get the attention that he gets. When he wants sex, or I want sex, he asks me to get him hard. He doesn’t focus on getting me wet. It’s rushed. Sex always starts out with me giving him a blowjob. Then straight to putting it in me.

Whenever I ask him to rub my back (or provide any physical touch really) he tells me no. “I’m not in the mood.” “I’m tired.” “It hurts my hand.” “I’m watching TV.”

Tonight, I went into our room and started to give him a blowjob. He came. Half an hour later I asked very nicely if he could rub my back while I work on schoolwork. He looked away from his phone at me with a weird ass look and said “no.” I said “really?” He said “no. I don’t wanna.” And went back to his phone.

You might say I’m overreacting, but this shit hurts. I’ve communicated this to him soooo many times (that he gets all the attention and leaves me in the dust).

He always cums first and many times he falls asleep before we’re able to do a round 2 and I’m left to finish by my lonesome or cry myself to sleep.

I love him but I feel neglected and dirty.

Physical touch and words of affirmation are my love languages and I don’t feel he gets it.

(By the way, we are engaged and have been together 5 years)