Getting married/Last name change
My husband and I have been together for 8 years and we got married 10 months ago.
We are Latinos, I was born and raised in NY, he was born in a different country.
He had 2 last names and I only had 1.
He has always had problems with his last names, to the point where even on his ID one is listed as his middle and one as his last. On his bills, they are always backwards and it’s always confusing when giving his info over the phone to people (customer reps) because his last names are long and difficult.
When we were applying for the marriage liscence we talked about the last name situation. We agreed that I would take on his first last name and drop mine and he will drop his second last name.
We got married at the courthouse, a beautiful ceremony. Perfect in every single way. We were both very content and really didn’t think anything about it.
Fast Forward to now:
He became a US citizen, and during the interview, the officer asked him his name. He responded his new name and the officer looked at him strange and asked for the name on his passport, so he said his old name (with both last names)....
Long story short: The officer went on to “school” him about why he should have never changed/took off his second last name, and saying that was his tradition and if I wanted to marry him I was supposed to take it as is. My husband replied that the tradition here was only using one last name and that it was something we compromised on. The officer said that it didn’t matter if that’s the tradition here, he will always be from his country and nothing will change his personal tradition. And blah blah (whatever else he said)
Anyways, after passing the citizenship, my husband is extremely happy but tells me what the officer told him. At the moment, he was kind of thoughtful about it.
Since then, he has gotten over it, but I’ve been secretly thoughtful, not because I feel bad or anything. I have been thoughtful because:
1. why would this officer even try to tell him what he should/shouldn’t have done (MIND YOUR BUSINESS!). I feel like he kind of put a bug in my husbands ear (or manipulated him to think something else of the situation)
2. Why would my husband say he changed his last name because of me (like I forced him), when in reality he was very happy about his decision to simplify.
3. I feel like if my husband said that to the officer, then that’s the same thing he will go and tell his family and then they will come look at me like the bad guy...
Please understand I never forced him to cancel his second last name, I was simply gonna keep my last name and that’s when we decided to compromise and he was happy.
He hasn’t mentioned this again, but I can’t stop thinking about it... I guess maybe I need some advice, if anybody has been in the same boat? Is it even that serious? Should I bring it up to him? Will his family hate me now?
Anybody with multiple names tell me if this is something serious in your culture?