I need advice and input please!

NO HATE PLEASE! JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE!!

Hello there all,

Today I found out that I’m pregnant, I’m going to get blood work done here shortly. But my boyfriend and I are having a hard time.

We both feel like our heads are telling us we should get an abortion because we aren’t ready, but our hearts are telling us not to.

We have a pretty significant age gap, I will be turning 21 in three months, and he is 38. (OUR AGE DIFFERENCE IS NOT A PROBLEM IN THIS SITUATION). He travels often and I seem him about 3 times a week on average, and is a rambling man (hopeless wanderer, gypsy like). He also has awful PTSD and can get very low down and sometimes doesn’t care for himself how we should. But he has an amazing heart, and we love each other so so much. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and doesn’t see her often so I think he may be worried our child would take a similar path. He is 100% disabled from an accident in the military. So he doesn’t work but does have some income- low!

I am in college, and I work part-time fast food. I live with my parents and barely bring in $4000 a year. My BF own a house but it’s in no condition for a baby to be brought into. We struggle just the two of us, with food. And fear the electricity will be turned off soon due to bills. So another mouth in the house will be a mess.

I would be able to get my shit together I’m sure. But I have a really rough and bumpy route ahead of me. It really a battle of head and heart right now. He told me that if this happened any later, after I was done with college and we settled down; he would be perfectly okay with it. Also, I lost a baby so this is my Rainbow baby.. makes me feel even more guilty.

Also I don’t feel as though adoption is a choice for me, emotionally.

Any advice? Or input? Thanks for reading this whole thing if you’ve got to this point. ❤️