Back to work anxiety

I've been out of work since December (issues with my bp while pregnant), my baby was born in March and I am supposed to go back to work in June, but the idea of going back to work gives me so much anxiety I want to puke. My mental health has gotten worse the past couple of weeks as it is and I just have been struggling with wanting to even be alive. I have BPD, major depression, an eating disorder and generalized anxiety on top of the PPD. If we could afford for me to be a SAHM I would, but that's not an option. I just don't know what to do. I hate my job as it is but I'm kinda stuck because I need a job with flexibility to work on my fiance's days off since we'll be down to one car here shortly. Idk just rambling I guess.