I am falling in love with my baby hard right now. He is almost 8 weeks old and I really feel like we are starting to get to know each other.

Of course I loved him instantly when he was born, but I was also terrified of him. He was only 6 lbs and tiny. I thought I would break him or hurt him accidentally. I spent 5 weeks sleep deprived and upset that I still felt so out of it.

Now, we have a routine. He goes to bed at the same time every night and only wakes twice to nurse. I get eight hours of sleep and no longer feel like the walking dead. He is smiling. Best of all, he responds to my voice and singing. For the longest time I wondered if he really knew I was his mommy and not some random lady. Now I know and I love it.

This love now is intense and strong. I want to protect him, be with him, and provide for him with everything I have. I am glad I am finally settling into this new role. I was so worried I would never feel comfortable as “Mom”.

Sometimes bonding takes time. I joked with my husband that giving birth is like the show Married at First Sight. It takes hard work and time to get to know your little one. It’s okay to be scared and confused and not “oh so in love” those first few weeks. You’re meeting a new person. It’s a delicate, beautiful dance and you first need to learn the steps. ❤️