confused

i found out i was 8 weeks pregnant at 18 with my boyfriend of 4.5 years. only a two days after finding out i was pregnant, i got a medical abortion. my family found out the day that i got it, and they were all devastated.

this was 5 months ago.

when i first got it, i felt i made the right decision. only a few days later, i knew it was the biggest mistake ever.

i felt guilt and remorse and so much anger. i cried and bleed for weeks.

mother’s day is a touchy subject, pregnancy, abortion... anything to do with having babies. it hurts and i still don’t know what to do to move on either.

my baby daddy wasn’t for the pregnancy and i felt a huge push to get an abortion. he now regrets it and it makes me more angry.

since then, i have compulsively made baby registries, bought baby clothes and products, looked up baby names, and more. i don’t know how to move on from this. all i can think about is getting pregnant again