He’s gone.

I just need somewhere to vent really.

My children’s father has left me.

Our youngest is 3 weeks old. Things haven’t been perfect for a while. He’s a drug addict. He’s consistently cheated on me throughout our 4.5 year relationship.

I’ve always been so in love with him I’ve forgiven the lying, stealing money from me and our kids, the cheating.

I’ve just done nothing but adore him and beg him to stay.

Well, 2.5 weeks after giving birth he tells me that he’s moved on already (has been speaking to her for a while, while I was pregnant) and that he just wants to see the kids.

He tells me that the reason he’s been a drug addict is because he’s been so unhappy forcing himself to be with me& now he’s not with me he’s happy and is turning his life around.

I want him to be happy. I’m heartbroken.

In my mind he’s changed for another woman. Even though he was an addict before he met me I can’t help but think the worst.

I’m trying to move on. I’m exhausted and sad. My eldest is almost four and very aware of my mood so I’m trying to stay positive but damn it’s really hard.

I broke down in front of him after he told me. But since I’ve gotten my shit together and seen him twice since for contact and I’ve made sure he hasn’t seen me sad and upset. I’ve put on a happy face but my god. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope he comes crawling back.

Just knowing he’s staying with another woman leaves me so sad for our family.

Not really any point to this post, but I just needed to say this somewhere without boring my friends to death because it’s all I want to talk about right now.

I’m finding it really hard to accept.