Ttc anxiety


My baby is 14 months and hubby and i are talking about starting ttc soon. The only reason why we dont want to wait is bc it took one year for us to get pregnant successfully the first time and bc were getting old. Im 34 and hes almost 39. We cant afford to wait years.

Nevertheless I have a few hesitations

1- this is my rainbow baby after we tried for one year. There's so much trauma from the miscarriage im so scared. Even when i was pregnant with my now baby i was constantly worried. Even of stillbirth!

2- i love my baby and our life with him right now sooooo much. We have no family or friends so hubby n i take turn working/taking care of the baby. Weve never had a nanny or date night and we have neverrrrrr slept through the night! But we love him. He is so perfect. I worry that having another would take away our time and attention on him.

3- my body has been in painnn since giving birth. My sacrum hurts maybe from birth? My right wrist hurts from holding the baby and i havent worked out at allll in this year so my body is nottttt the same.

4- since we have no friends or family, if we have another baby, hubby would have to be stay at home dad since i make more money. That's going to be rough financially.

5- baby still breastfeeds and this journey hasnt been easy. I cant imagine struggling with. Breastfeeding for a year with another baby.

6-we still fight a lot. We tried therapy once but i think culturally we just couldnt connect and it was super not helpful. I want this relationship to be healthy for the family.

Anyone have advice?