So long story short, my bf of almost 3 yrs and I were/are facing a rocky period in our relationship. I’ve always been the grounded one but I recently had an epiphany I guess. I’m finally seeing my bf for who he really is and realizing my limits with him. I know that I love him but day by day I feel myself pulling away and I don’t like that. The day after a big blow up, opportunity presented itself and this guy in my new apt invited me for drinks that evening. Like 7pm-9pm. I didn’t flinch at this invitation as I wanted to talk to him anyway and ask questions about the building my grandpa owns and trash pick up days, parking, rent, etc. so I went down and we talked about all that. It was cool and he has the same senses of humor as I do. Dark. Finding humor in things that shouldn’t be funny😄. Anyway he started flirting with me, which I didn’t take seriously but I told him I had a bf then we talked about my bf briefly. Good things only, I didn’t tell him were were rocky. Anyway, since then, he has been texting or rather snap chatting me to meet back up again in his apt for a movie.

Currently: he continues to test the waters with his flirty and sometimes sexual text messages which I laugh off and deny him. So anyway at this point he’s getting veryyy bold. Talking about sex, his penis, fooling around etc. and though I’ve agreed to NONE of this, I still reply to the messages so it’s like I’m entertaining this. It’s going to take a lot for my bf to build back up to the point where we can move forward but he’s finally trying, like actually trying and I want to give him a chance.

The problem now is, I’ve gone down the rabbit hole with this other guy and idk how to get out. It sounds simple. Stop answering the messages. But I eventually do. And part of me is curious. I don’t want this guy as a bf. I don’t even know him like that. And as much as I say I don’t want to have sex with him, I haven’t had sex in almost 6 months. And the sex my bf was providing was void of all pleasure which annoyed me. I wouldn’t cum but he would always. I’ve envisioned myself going back to this guys apt and just flirting with the idea of doing something but then NOT and instead just watch a movie or talk then leave. But last night he invited me down there and as I’m text omw to his apt door, he asks if I have condoms (and of course I don’t, I only have sex with my bf and he’s currently in a different state but short travel distance away. Haven’t had sex in a while so no, I don’t). So I tell the guy this and I’m like, it won’t matter anyway cuz we aren’t having sex. And he says, I know we don’t have to have sex but it’s a possibility. We go back and forth with that and I eventually go back to my own apt, get in my own bed and go to sleep.😴 he kept trying to convince me to come back down but I didn’t. That same night my bf called be back and we read the Bible and he prayed for us, again something he hasn’t done in ages. Apt guy has sent me two snap messages. One last night and one this am. I want to open them even though I shouldn’t.