Him 💕

Okay, ladies. My apologies for this post, but I just thought I’d brag a little and write an appreciation post. Something I’ve never done before.

As some of you possibly saw my previous posts a year or two ago... things are definitely different as of today/now. I’ve come to realize that it was me needing to forgive a man I truly love, and move past the dumb shit that has happened in the past. I was just 16 years old when I met him, he was 20; I asked my mother for permission to date him - at first, she was iffy about him. And I never realized it until later on. On our first date (Feb. 16th 2014) he took me out on a date to the movies. He had given me a gift, but before that he had asked what my favorite color was and I told him it was purple. He gave me a necklace that was a teddy bear holding a purple diamond. I loved it. I think he had forgotten to take off the tag that was hidden behind the thing on the chain - lol - later learned he paid almost a $100 dollars for it and I never felt that special to some one that spent that much money on me lol. Anyways.. yeah, that night I became irresponsible and lost my virginity... mainly because I felt safe with him, and I felt like he was “the one” out of the other guys I’ve dated and had tried pressuring me into having sex with them. But, this was MY personal decision I made with him. So fast forward... I fell pregnant with my first daughter. My mom was furious. Things went down hill. But, he was there to help support my emotions and help me vent. She later accepted the fact I was having her granddaughter and we were all happy.

Yeah, during and after, things began to fall apart with him and I. I saw he was talking to somebody else and it hurt me - I left in 2016 after allowing things to slide by. My daughter was 2. Then 2017 came around, found out the year we’ve been separated he messed with my best friend I would always talk about to him, and he lied about being involved with her. She lied about being involved with him. But, came July 2017, he asked for another chance, and like a dummy I was, I went back to him. I fell pregnant with our second child... Things were great, I felt like things changed. His family were happy we were back together and we were all living happy. Until things became to get stressful and rocky; he would leave me all hours of the night and wouldn’t come home until 6am. His going out partying stuff was causing so much tension. We got into a fight one night, and he told me to leave. So, I left. The day I went back to the apartments where we were living together to turn in my copy of the key, I saw him and we talked. Then from there never saw each other. I ended up going into labor later that same day, and i texted him. I told him I was going into labor and he didn’t believe me, so he told me to go to the hospital and that he’ll meet me later. I wasn’t gonna let that slide because he wasn’t there the first time (mainly because I was upset at him for talking to another woman and so I didn’t text him to come witness his first daughter being born and yes, I still feel guilty about it), SO, I told my sister to take me to pick him up and from there we were dropped off at the hospital. I asked him for another chance.. I told him that our errors should be thrown somewhere else and that we are about to become parents for the second time. He didn’t want to get back together, but he later changed his mind. Fast forward to all the cheesy things I want to say, but without making it sooooo long...

I learned to forgive this man for all the stupid and reckless decisions he had made and done. I’ve learned to forgive and forget the things he has done because at the end of the day, he was and still IS an amazing father to both our amazing daughters (5 in November and 1 next month). I realized that I was maybe the one that drove him away and blew everything out of context. This man has helped me so much and I guess I was just so ungrateful because how I caught him so many times. A month ago, yes, I caught his secret Facebook account and I approached him about it in a calm manner and told him:

“I will not fight for you or over you again. I will not scream and shout for you or over you again. If whoever you are talking to is somebody you want to be with and really want, then go for it. I will not be a second option this time again, I will not allow myself to be played as a fool again. I love you, more than anything, I do. But, if you’re gonna be doing this again, then you just might as well go. I don’t want my daughters to see us this way and grow up wondering.”

He told me didn’t want whoever he was talking to. He sent the messages to the girl he was talking romantically to that he didn’t want nothing to do with them anymore in front of me and deleted her. He apologized. And I felt the meaning in it this time.

As of today, we are doing amazing. He’s doing amazing for our family, he is working on getting certified as an electrician. I supported his decision of going far to work, only because I knew he needed it and because the money to help hold our household up. I trusted him this time. And he showed that I can trust him, our hearts grew fonder because the distance, and our love became stronger. I love this man with all my heart; he’s surely the one I want to be with. Not counting the year we separated, but this year would be almost 6 years we’ve been together. I mean, we may not be married atm but it’s something we both want in the future, he just wanted to get out of his debts to get a marriage going on . He’s just a perfect man, and I’m glad not only he changed, but WE. We both changed for the better, for our children, for our future. I can’t stop thanking him for the beautiful girls he had allowed me to carry, can’t stop thanking him for always being there when I needed him and so on. He is my soulmate and I love him. Things can change if both parties are willing to change for each other. He motivated me to finish school, to become a CNA and now working to get my Licker License (vet lol). He’s going to finish school and get his electrician license, he told me he wants to buy some land and start working on our dream house. As I told him many times before... I’m with him because I love him for his soul. Not his materials and money. This man will always have my heart. 💕💕