My boyfriend and I broke up at 9 weeks..

My boyfriend and I were so excited about this baby, I was literally so exhausted with morning sickness I became so depressed. Because I was depressed he also got down and we distanced.

He said he wanted space because of his own head and his depression and that’s how he copes. I gave him space, then a few days later after hanging out with mates all the time he’s decided he doesn’t know if he’s happy in our relationship.

So I made the choice for him. I left him. 2 hours later I turned up to his house to get my things, I get to the back door and I see a girls pair of shoes next to his. I knock at the door, no answer ( I have two keys). I walk in and find him upstairs with her, apparently all the did was kiss but in that moment I swear to god I thought I was going to lose the baby.

Now I’m 11 weeks and I have never felt so alone. I get heart palpitations, flashbacks of seeing her shoes next to his on the kitchen floor of the house we shared. On top of that I’m living back at my mums now and I’ve got her support however I’ve got no one to look after me like a partner should.

Believe me I’ve thought about my other options, I rang BPAS 5 times. Five fucking times and I was hysterically crying each time and hung up the phone each time. I can’t abort or adopt my child.

Every time I see a post of a happy couple on here I cry. I’m sorry to be Debbie the downer I’m just lost and incredibly sad I’m now doing this on my own.

Oh and also he desperately wants this child, just not me.