I asked my husband for a divorce 5 days ago. It’s been an emotionally exhausting week.

I told myself this time last year that I’d give it 12 more months and not a second more. Those 12 months were to worst in our entire 7 year relationship.

He’s been so miserable for years. He takes it all out on me. He hates his job and is jealous that I like mine. He’s been manipulative, discouraging me from spending time away from the house. He blames all of our financial problems on me...

He’s aggressive and violent. He has physically hurt me indirectly because of his physical aggression towards our belongings. He breaks my stuff. He destroys the things I’ve bought for him. He rips apart furniture. He’s broken through several doors. He hides my wedding rings when he’s mad at me. He calls me names.

I hate being called a cunt the most.

He missed nearly all holidays and family events this last year. He would conveniently start a fight before we had plans with family or friends and I started leaving his ass behind.

Clearly it wasn’t always like this. He was a good man for a long time. But it changed after we got married.

My family and friends have been concerned for my health and safety for awhile.

I wanted to take space before I told him my plans to leave. I felt unsafe being honest, so I planned to leave for awhile, and then move my stuff out while he wasn’t home.

Before I could get my shit together he started asking if I was planning to leave him. I acted like I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do but he wasn’t buying it.

He was calm but wouldn’t drop the subject, so I told him over the phone that I want a divorce. He was emotional and kept telling me that he’s becoming a different person. He said he’s felt different for awhile now and is ready to get help (he’s already been in therapy for a year). He’s signed up for a men’s therapy group. He’s committed to seeing his counselor weekly. He’s pulled out every self help book I’ve bought him in the past 5 years and is suddenly reading/highlighting/noting in them.

He’s telling me that he recognizes full accountability for the failure of our marriage. He admits to being controlling and completely inappropriate and says he’s ready to address his shit.

He’s left me alone for almost a week, allowing me to go and do whatever I want, without question or issue. Ive been mostly staying with family but have been home a couple nights. I’ve come home to flowers, dinners, love notes. He’s moved out of our bedroom as I asked, and hasn’t stepped foot into my space.

It would have been easier to leave if he’d just keep being an abusive ass. I’m struggling to not fall back into the familiarity of our shared life. I’m tempted to not sacrifice the comfort of our home and routine.

I do hope he’s on the road to recovery, I’m just not the woman who will experience the best version of himself.

I need to be ok with that.

Thanks for your support.