Abortion

Hi. So I've been facing such problems these past few days. I don't know where to talk to, I don't know whom to talk to. I am a victim of rape, it happened when I was about to go home. I don't have my family with me, i'm alone. I'm only 17 years old. I don't have friends, because I think they all didn't like me, and my physical appearance. I don't know what to do know. I'm 4 weeks pregnant, I want to terminate this because i'm still studying and I don't want to ruin my goals that I've been reaching since then. Help me please, i'm living in a country that abortion is illegal. I don't know where to buy abortion pills such as misoprostol and mifepristone. Can someone help me with this? I'm really depressed and don't know what to do anymore. Could you send me medicines? I'm willing to give any amount of money. Just to abort this. Help please. I want to die 😔 It caused me to be severely traumatized 😣😣