Long story I'll try to sum it up.

I was with my husband 14 years, married 6 of them. Been together since I was 15. We have 2 kids age 13 and 12. We had our ups and downs, alot of them. Cheating, prison, drugs, I had never cheated up until the end, he cheated multiple times throughout but the last 4 years I suspected but never actually caught him except for conversations online. Well in July 2018 I started cheating on him with an ex from years and years ago because he had been sleeping on the couch 3 months and we rarely had sex and I felt generally unloved. Up until that point I never even so much looked at a man sideways. It started as sex and he was married too but we were both so unhappy or so we thought. I felt good for getting vengeance for so many years of shit. Well I think we fueled each others fire and in November we both left our homes and moved in together. We both filed for divorce in February, went through custody, both our spouses moved on with multiple people. I talk to my husband daily and he talks to his wife daily as well. Mostly negative but we both still communicate. Both of us have talked to them about getting together again but never did. So now I sit here and I miss my husband. I know what I did was wrong. But now my husband has changed. Now hes prospecting for a gang, having sex with literally anyone and everyone, and doing things he never did before and I know its my fault. I want so badly for us to move somewhere else and start over but I feel bad for my current bf but i think deep down if offered he would do the same for his wife. Idk if I should just accept what I did and live the life I made with my bf or accept who my husband has become and wait for him to come back to me and change back to who we were before. I feel inside that I dont really love my bf the way I love my husband and it took me leaving him to realize that but it may be too late.