People think im crazy (sorry its long)

Let me start by saying i don’t normally post anything, but i read a lot of them. And they have helped me on many occasions.

April 10th was the day of my last period. I was so excited to get that positive May 8th. I made a onesie for our 11 month old to wear to surprise his daddy with when he got home. Everyone was so excited. I called the OB and they set me up for May 21st to just check and make sure everything was A-OK. We saw the gestation sac and was told it was still too early and that i may have ovulated late. At that moment i just knew something was wrong. I should of been 6w1d so at the very least saw a yolk sac. I knew i had to cool my anxiety for the next 2 weeks before they did a rescan. The next day i spotted a couple of times and new it was the start of a miscarriage. The following day i spotted more and by night there was a little dark red on my pad. The following morning (3 days after scan) i had no spotting but still knew it was going to happen. Within 2 hours of waking up i went to the bathroom and had a gush of red blood. Told my hubby and he stayed home with the kids while my mom took me to the ER. They did a vag US and when the tech was finished and pulled the wand out i felt another gush. While getting dressed i looked to see how much and it was my babies sac. I just knew.

I did shed tears and questioned why. But in the end, im ok. More ok then people think i should be. Im more realistic than people think i should be. I knew that by getting pregnant there could always be a chance no matter how small. I wish there wasnt and all women would never have to feel the pain of losing a baby they wished and prayed for no matter how far along they are.

But everyone thinks im crazy for wanting to try again so soon. My husband and i have a saying for our family. Just Keep Swimming. We will forever remember our baby that is now smiling happily down on us playing with his grandma and great grandparents. But We are just going to keep on swimming and hopefully get our rainbow baby.

If you took the time to read this, thank you. I hope each and every one of you beautiful ladies get your sweet rainbow baby.