I’ve been married to my partner for 6 years, together for 9, so I know my in-laws fairly well. We are very different in terms of interests but never caused problems at all. We happily spend time with them over the holidays and they’ve always been welcoming towards me. Fast forward to 2019 and we have our first child - big adjustment in mine and my husbands lives, our lo is 11 weeks now... we haven’t been able or felt up to accommodating long visits and I’ve turned down an offer of a weeks visit (we’ve only offered 2 days). Honestly, visitors have only ever caused exhaustion and they’ve not lifted a finger during the times they have visited. But I can see in their eyes the love they have for their grandchild which is nice to see. I also get the impression they’re itching to make comments on things but holding back, there is an underlying tension I can’t put my finger on and my mil has distanced herself from me whenever I try to have a normal conversation. E.g, today we were out enjoying lunch, the boys were chatting sport and so thought it would be nice to talk with mil, she instead took our baby from the table and stood 10 feet away looking out at our table and me.... very strange, I was left playing on my phone until the waitress turned up with our food and she put our baby back in the carrier. I also know longer have time to respond to every message they send but I do send pictures twice a week with updates- I leave it up to my husband to stay in touch inbetween that. They might feel that I’m not doing enough to make them feel involved? Either way I’ve started feeling uncomfortable about our interactions when we meet up.

How has your relationships changed with your in-laws? Any wisdom to impart? I’d appreciate to hear them 🙂