Long post alert!

I’m having a baby by my best friend who is now the love of my life!

Dilemma: He has these girls that are his best friend and his “sister” now ... that’s already very uncomfortable to me but as I’m growing I have to deal with that. I trust him and I love him completely but here’s the thing. The best friend told him that if neither one of them are married by 35, they were getting married. I was very uneasy about that. I got over that .. a little ... it still bothers me ... so then we having this problem, he calls his “sister” (friend from high school that’s like a sister to him) and she says it’s a joke. She goes on to say “I know it’s a joke because he told me in HS that if neither one of us has kids by 25 we were gonna have one together”.... but this your “sister” ... granted it was years ago they were in high school, I wasn’t even in the picture at this point. So I shouldn’t be worried .. but I am ... that shit really doesn’t sit right with me.

I jokingly told him 2 years ago “if I’m still single without kids at 25, it’s me and you, I’m giving you a baby and everything cuz I want my first kid at 24-25” ... we are now 25, together, and pregnant. So I need to know if I’m overreacting... I need to know if I’ll get over this or if I should just call it quits because he’s not gonna chose me over them and I wouldn’t even make him because I already know. But it bothers me so much. We’ve gone through a lot in the past 7 years. The best friend telling him about marriage was one thing but him telling the sister like that means it’s something else there because if you “wouldn’t touch her and don’t even look at her like that” why joke about a baby? Joke or not .. I need to know if I need to get a sense of humor or if I’m justified to literally be losing sleep over this shit cuz I am man .. I slept for like 3 hours last night and every time I think about it it really gets under my skin. My heart beats out my chest and I start shaking. I’m 6 weeks today and this is my 5th pregnancy 3 SABs and 1 chemical.