I feel I might be depressed but suffer from anxiety

I am 24 weeks pregnant. I have 2 children..7yo & 1yo.

My fiance is a weed smoker and it bothers me so much. Last Saturday I went with him to his friends place and met them for the first time. All they were doing is smoking and in the house I was sitting in.

He knows how I feel about it. He says he's in the process of quitting. Jesus is working on him he says.

3 nights per week he "works" and comes home high.

Saturday just cut it for me. I say as little as possible to him since Sunday morning. I can't be affectionate with him.

My 7yo needs me most right now as he's suffering from behavioural issues at school. But I can't focus on him while my fiance is doing such things. We have a baby ob the way and 2 other children that need our support.

And role models.

Last night, after my fiance left for "work", completely went over. I just saw red and felt fire through my body and on my skin.

My LO of only 1 year wouldn't pick something she through up and I just started shouting and hitting her. I feel so guilty, so bad. I'm feeling like I'm such a bad mom. I forced myself to stop, looking at how little she is. Went to the kitchen, found the first sharp utensil and cut myself till I calmed down.

I've cut before I had my son which is over 8 years ago. And I do suffer from anxiety. But my fiance is giving me way more anxiety this pregnancy and I feel as if I'm depressed now. Crying all the time. Don't care about this baby inside of me. Nobody seems to understand my pain. So there's no one left to talk to but here where I see everyone receives so much support and love.

I know I need help, especially because I have little ones and they rely on mama to be their safe place. I'm so sorry to my girl and my son for every thing I do wrong. They need me! I need help...:-( Any advice I'd appreciate, or just someone that understands my heart right now.

Thank you xxx & sorry for the long post..