Idk what call this

Lately I haven’t been feeling like myself I haven’t been motivated to do literally anything and Imma stress eater so I gained at least 10lbs. Idk what’s wrong with me I told my grandmother that I wanted to go to a mental home for the summer just to get clarity and help cause I can’t do it on my own and she’s old school so she just down played it and told me to come home instead but i don’t need to go home I need help. I literally feel alone even in a room full of people I feel invincible I’m just literally at the edge and I’m ready to give up I have no friends or family within my region I literally just want to say fuck it and kill myself (I’m from dc but live in Richmond)