Trying Again

It has been almost 6 years since my son passed away from SIDS. My husband (not my son’s father) has been very easy with me, taking our relationship really slow. I think that I am ready to have another child since we are now TTC, but secretly I still wonder if I am doing the right thing, or if I will love this baby. I am worried I will hate it for not being my son. I am not a bad mom, and I work with and love children, but what if it happens again. I don’t think I could live through it again.