I need to vent, so stressed.

I have a long history of pregnancy issues and loss. 6 miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies, lost my left tube and ovary. I have 4 living children and we fought tooth and nail to get them. I am pregnant again. Went in at 5 w 5d with cramping and spotting and all the saw was gestational sac. No fetal pole, nothing else. I have an ultrasound on the 13th to confirm either pregnancy or Mc...... 3 days before we climb into our car/moving truck and drive clear across country. I'm trying to pack a house up, finishing up my last week of work at night, take care of kids all day and my head just will not shut up. I don't even want to hope at this point because it seems pointless. I have no one I can talk to here.... I just get the "well you had kids it's not that big a deal". I'm obsessing over this and it's driving me crazy. 😢