Very toxic relationship

I’m dating this guy the very first time we had sex he had a condom on but took it off in the middle of us having sex didn’t know at first being that I had alcohol in my system but we made it official but we never been out we just stay home have sex and be under each other and he says because I work crazy hours 😑okay and we also planning on having a baby which I want but don’t think it’s a good idea so I’ve been tested and I’m negative I have bad anxiety so it’s coming up for me to get hiv tested I get it every 6mons and I’m freakin because idk if he’s been faithful everything in my body tells me I shouldn’t be with him and I know I shouldn’t I’m just afraid of being alone and not having kids because I’m almost 30 and I’ve been single for 5 years and I feel like no one loves me etc I just need to learn again how to love myself and it harder now