Is a second worth it?


I’ve had three miscarriages and one healthy baby who is now 20 months old. I am now 6 weeks pregnant and feeling all kinds of emotions. To support my successful pregnancy, I quit my high achieving job and had almost every treatment available - infusions, steroids, weekly progesterone shots, a cerclage, bed rest for 6 months. I felt like a science experiment, but I was committed to having our baby. My file was one of the thickest at our high risk doctor. Now I just can’t imagine going through it again. I’ve returned to a new job and feel like I’m letting them down - if I’m lucky, I will need to waste at least one day per week on doctor appointments and won’t be able to travel (my job requires frequent travel). If I’m not lucky, I’ll be hospitalized for 6 months. I also feel like I would be letting my daughter down as I won’t be the fun mama she loves.

On the other hand, I know I would love another baby. My husband and I have had many debates and he doesn’t want to see me so sick again.

HCG was very high at my last test (19,000 at 5 weeks) and heartbeat was visible but slow (59) at the 6 week scan which means there is about a 60% chance of chromosomal abnormality. we will know more at the 7 week scan.

Is one enough? I feel like this forum knows what I’m in for. Is it worth it? I realize I might not get a choice. I’m so grateful for my healthy girl. Is trying for a second just tempting fate?