Today was a hard day

I have so much to be grateful for. My family is healthy, we’re expecting a healthy boy, we don’t really need anything...

I’ve been crying all afternoon. My body is expanding at an alarming rate (it’s my 4th kid, I know how this goes). My face is breaking out. I have the worst varicose veins in my left leg, all the way up my thigh and to my labia. I feel like all my friends are hanging out without me. I don’t want my husband anywhere near me. Nothing fits.

Today I went to Nordstrom, to buy a pair of shoes I can just slide on, that would maybe make me feel trendy or pretty. While trying on shoes my big toe nail cracked (bc of the varicose veins, I have poor circulation and my nails are basically dying). I started bleeding all over the place. The sales girl was freaking out, she didn’t know what to do. I had to buy the shoes I bled all over. I held it together until the car and just started bawling. I’m still crying.

It’s not a big deal, it’s just a nail. It could be worst. But I’m just so sad. I just had to vent.