Recently found out that I am pregnant with my 4th child. The exact words out of my mouth as that second line turned pink was, “no, no, No!”. A year ago I was longing to have another child but found myself feeling less than excited about this pregnancy. I have done a lot of work being content with just raising my 2 boys(I have a daughter who died at 3mos old). The other factor in my fear of this pregnancy is that my husband and I carry a fatal genetic disease that carries a 25% or 1 in 4 risk with each pregnancy. We will undergo testing around 10 weeks to determine the health of this baby but I’m terrified that this baby will carry the same disease as my daughter and we’ll need to make an awful choice-to give birth to a child we’ll watch die or to end the pregnancy. I know if this baby is free of this disease we can figure the rest out, I’m just so scared that we carelessly put ourselves in a terrible place. Our 3rd child was also a surprise a couple months after we lost our 2nd and thank God he is healthy, but I feel like I can’t be that blessed twice. I guess I’m looking for advice and prayers this baby is healthy.