I’m upset

I want to tell my problems to vent because I’m so sad and I literally want the pain to go away. My dad is the type of man that puts on a image for everyone to look like a great person who is doing good in life. But he isn’t a good dad. He has been emotionally abusing me. Shouting at me for just going to the kitchen to get something to eat or everytime I make conversation with him, he tries to make me go away by saying off u go then or get me a beer. We don’t have a close relationship as he has never celebrated my birthday or never went to my dance shows or sports day. Never pain attention to me as I try to get my dad’s approval for years. I’m so jealous of others people having amazing dad’s. Like I can’t even have one argument with him without being scared of him. My siblings are too cold with me. They are distant from me as they have no interest in hanging out with me. It really hurts, so bad. And my mum is always working, but she always try to make me happy by spending time with me. But now she hasn’t pay any attention to me. I wanted to do the dishes for her and so we can hang out. But then I accidentally spilled the some dirty water on the floor and my brother is calling me brain dead as I was upset, I walked to my room crying as my other brother bang the door, push the door opened roughly as he didn’t care about my privacy or feelings and shouted at me to clean it up, not caring that I was crying and goes to his bedroom like nothing has happened. I felt my heart keep breaking over and over again. Not listening or being understanding. The sad part is being at school is better than being at home. I don’t feel loved, I told my parents I want to have a sleepover at my pal house but apparently my parents think because he is a boy it’s not happening where me and him have been friends for 3 years and he is gay and even if he wasn’t there is nothing wrong with being friends with a boy and I have no attraction towards him and neither does he. They are being sexist, sure I understand parents are concerned about what could of happened and it’s their job to look after me, I know I know but it’s sad cause they will let me stay over a girls house and not a boys house, what if one of my friend who was a girl was gay? I just want to feel loved and care for, and to know sometimes people make mistakes as accidentally spilling dirty water and thank you for listening, it honestly means a lot to me, I really want to be happy but it’s hard for me right now as I’m not comfortable with the place I’m living Xx