Why won’t God just let me die?

I have always wanted to be a mom but I have unexplained infertility. I have had 3 failed IUIs and just want the pain of all of this to go away. This pain is horrible and I have asked God to just let me die. We can’t afford <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> without making finances extremely difficult for years to come. I am done with God hating me and tired of living in hell. The only hope I have now is to die young because life is not worth living.