Why it’s a bad idea to remain friends with an ex

I’m just spilling the tea so y’all can enjoy reading and be like omg or rolls your eyes or sigh at the human nature.

I’m originally from NYC. I moved to MD and lived with my ex at his parents’ home then we moved out to a new place by ourselves. We had been together for almost two years and things went downhill between us (no cheating or anything like that). He just neglected our relationship to the point where I became so depressed in MD and I didn’t want to be with him anymore so I decided to break up with him and moved back to NYC. We were on a super good terms and respected each other. All of it happened over TEN YEARS AGO. Keep that in your mind.

I’d say two years after our break up, he got a new girlfriend, then we stopped talking as good friends which is totally understandable. I respected their relationship and I had no interest to disturb their relationship. He was happy and I was happy for him. Then we went to the different directions in our life journeys.

Until last year, they broke up and he reached out to me. I guess maybe he wanted to see how I’m doing and stuff. But at that time, I’m already in a relationship with my man and we are super happy. My man wasn’t comfortable with the idea of exes talking to each other too much and I respect my man’s feelings. I let my ex know that we can’t talk that much but it’s ok to say hi how r u ok cool bye, something like that. Gee, my ex went super crazy on me and said so much awful things to me. I was like 🤨...ohh okaaaay then I let him know it was not cool of him to do that to me just bec we are exes 😒

He realized his wrong doings and he apologized. Ok cool, all is forgiven. Then a few months later (it was Feb), out of blue, he told me he still had my stuff which I completely forgot about! But I was thrilled to hear there are still items from my youth days so we tried to work out on how to have it delivered to me blah blah blah but at that time he was jobless and he was super struggling. I totally understood! So, I told him that we will work this out somehow when he is back on his feet. We agreed on that.

So maybe three days ago, I asked him about my stuff because I haven’t heard back from him for a while plus I found out I got pregnant, my mind just went into the nesting mode. Anyways, I asked about it and he messaged me “Oh, I threw it out but I kept two things for you tho.”

“....What? You threw it out without talking to me about it?”

My ex was like “Oh well, I’m not your storage unit ok? I held it for you to just “please” you. By the way, congratulations on your new family and you should feel blessed about it.” Wtf?

I was SOOOOO furious at his nonchalant/asshole approach because I thought we were in good terms 🤨 So I told him how I felt about what he was doing was so fucked up. We communicated about it prior to that and he just decided to throw it away behind my back without ever tell me.

Why??? I had my own theory.

All of this happened like that right after I announced my pregnancy on social media. Apparently, he wasn’t happy to see me moved on 100% and have a baby with another man instead of him. But we were broken up over TEN YEARS AGO!

But my stuff are gone, lol. There’s nothing I can do about get it back but there was something I can do about, end this friendship with him. I don’t need that toxicity in my life and I told him that we’d be no longer friends, that’s it. Then he blocked me 🤷🏽‍♀️

Whatever but know what, I feel good after I removed that kind of toxicity from my life. So, it’s a super bad idea to remain friends with an ex. You will never know what an ex would do to you when things aren’t going his/her way once you move on with another person happily.