Breastfeeding / Pumping Struggles

I am 11 days PP and I want to give up. I am breastfeeding on demand and pumping 10-12 times a day for 20-30 minutes, doing skin to skin, taking lactation supplements, I’ve met with a lactation consultant twice and I still don’t produce enough milk to feed my baby at a feeding. I can get maybe 1-2oz depending on duration. I feel like I spend so much time and energy trying to feed her, I don’t get to spend any time baby bonding.

I don’t get to play with her when she’s awake, give baths, tummy time, etc. When I do feed her and do skin to skin it’s inauthentic, like I’m doing it cause I want my body to produce more milk and I just want to be with my baby and be present in her life.

It’s too much work for no reward. Especially when I have to go back to work in 7 weeks. I don’t even mind the sore and cracked nipples. I’d literally do anything for my baby!

I am just sitting in my bathroom ugly sobbing cause it’s not working and I feel like an absolutely failure.