Always bad news.

AJ • 29• TTC since 5/2018 •2 MC: 10.5.18. & 3.25.19• 🌈 due late February, 2020 💓🤰🏻

Some day, can I please get some good news?

Two weeks ago my husband went in to the doctor and had al ultrasound done that came out that he was being diagnosed with testicular cancer.

We have had two miscarriages.

The following Monday it was confirmed by urology that it was indeed cancer.

Later that afternoon I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

This should be good news right? However after two miscarriages and two chemical pregnancies - all we could do is wonder if the cancer was impacting our fertility but the infertility clinic can’t say.

We immediately had my husband give a sample for freezing in case he needs to do any chemo or radiation. They also did a speed analysis finally. (They had originally told us they weren’t worried about his sperm since he was clearly getting me pregnant)

He had surgery to remove the testicle last week and now we wait for results to determine next phase of treatment.

And I wait and wait for every blood HcG result to see if this little one continues to grow but her they’re very cautious and not overly confident things are going to end up well.

I have my next blood draw tomorrow to determine my ultrasound they want to do Monday at 5+2 to confirm pregnancy is implanted correctly

Then today we get news that they ran the semen analysis and my husbands sperm is it viable for <a href="">IUI</a> so that if this pregnancy doesn’t work our only option is <a href="">IVF</a> with genetic testing. They quoted us at 23K. Not money we have sitting around by any means after forking over medical bills for two D&Cs at 2k each and now my husbands cancer treatment. Then life. A house. Cars.

This is mostly just a place for me to vent. But I am just so sick of the continuous bad news and feeling like now I will never get to become a mom. And it flat out sucks.