This is really more just a venting session because every day just gets harder and harder. My husband and I have been TTC for a little over a year now with no luck.

I am a kindergarten teacher so I get asked a lot if I have a baby, why don’t you have a kid if you are married, ect. Which is so normal of a thing for them to do, however each time is like a little dagger. I don’t know why I don’t have a baby, but god I would do anything for one.

My two best friends are currently pregnant now and each of them were very cautious to tel me their good news because they know about my struggles. I am over the moon excited and happy for them with every fiber in my being. But man that cut me down hard. I feel like I have to push my happiness as hard as I can out of my body so I don’t diminish her joy, but after a while my body just can’t take all of the bottling up anymore and I just come home to crying in my bathtub.

I know this probably sounds selfish that all I can think about is myself during my best friends best moment of her life. But when she told me it was just an accident from a switching of birth control that cut deep.

I try everything I can to distract myself from this relentless reminder in the back of my mind that I am not pregnant now, or maybe never will be.

How do people cope during their TTC when everyone around them seems to be pregnant???