My step dad is... different. He had a hard life, bad childhood and was dealt a shitty hand in life. He had cancer twice and beat it. One of his sons died in the 80's while his ex-wife was having an affair and was supposed to be watching him. His ex-wife beat him while he was wheelchair bound after neck and back surgery and he has quite a few other issues. I'm saying this to let you know I know what he's been through and I get WHY he acts the way he does.

He basically raised me since I was 16. He was there for me more than my own father who left when I was 12 (we still talk and see each other and I love him but I can't depend on him for anything.) But my step dad uses the things he's been through as a reason to justify treating people badly. He is so critical and judgmental of me and my parenting that sometimes I just avoid him because I know I'll go off on him. He tells my mom she's fat and needs to lose weight and is critical of everything she puts in her mouth and says he does it because he cares about her health. When I confront him he tells me the same thing "that's just how I am."

My mom defends him saying he's set in his ways and you just have to realize he's not doing it to be mean. But I'm sorry, I take offense and it shouldn't be an excuse to treat people like that because that's just how you are. I haven't done anything to him except yell "fuck you" to him when I was a teenager. My mom treats him like a king. Am I over reacting?!