My daughter was born sleeping at 24wks 7-8-2017. We were told the news 7-7-17. She was completely healthy my cervix was very long and thick. My water had a small leak at the end of 22wks found out beginning of 23wks and they sent me home because she wasn't considered viable until I reached 24wks. They refused to keep me in the hospital cause I was only 23wks..I reached up to turn my ceiling fan on and felt a itty bitty trickle but assumed it was cm cause I always had watery cm pregnant. Wish I'd listened to my instincts and went to the hospital. I hate myself every single day of my life. Its my fault for reaching the ceiling fan on, its my fault I wasn't smart enough to know the difference in water breaking and cm, its my fault she slowly passed from suffering with no fluids, its my fault I couldn't protect her inside my womb were a child should feel secure and safe, its my fault for failing as a mother and its my fault for taking her for granted that she'd be here just fine 3m later because the "stillborn/miscarriage" rate dropped dramatically taking that for granted that everything is peaches and cream from week 13 on without the chance of something happening. I've learned to never take anything for granted especially a child because one day there here and they can be gone the next (same with friends and family). There is no such thing as a "safe zone" no matter how women try to justify because anything at any point and time can happen. Serenity has taught me so much in 2 years. I sit and cry as tomorrow slowly approaches. I wanted to sit her on my lap and tell her all about Jesus but instead..she sits on Jesus lap and he tells her all about me. Lord help me through today tomorrow and the 11th the day she was laid to rest and the day my 8m old is having open heart surgery...sorry for posting about her again I'm just really depressed