This is a really really long story so thanks in advance if you make it to the end with advise.

Back in 2014 my husband & I were extremely happy in our own apartment living a fun uncomplicated life. Then my Mom passed away unexpectedly in August. My Dad was devastated. We went to his house 4 days a week where I cleaned, cooked & did laundry for him on those days. My husband did all the lawn work (it is a big house with a huge front & back yard). We did everything we could to try & get him through the worst time of his life (and my own) Tbh I was afraid of what might happen to him or that he might kill himself. All of my relatives on my Moms side basically disappeared after she died. My two half sisters, aunts, cousins, niece they quit coming by, quit calling once they got the possessions of hers they wanted. It fell on me to do everything & keep my Dad going. It was emotionally draining.

My Mom & Dad were not doing good financially when she passed & he was struggling to keep up with the mortgage & the bills. It even got to the point where he was selling off his possessions like his boat, atv, pool table, hunting rifles etc. to make ends meet. We even helped pack the majority of his personal belongings just in case because the bank was threatening to take the house. Before our lease was up on our apartment November 2015 he was fixing to lose the house (my childhood home) so we offered to move in with him & split all the bills 50/50 the mortgage, electric, water, gas, internet etc. He was so relieved. (If we hadn't moved in he would have had to move in with us in our 1 bedroom apartment) I was also 7 months pregnant with my 1st baby & was happy to know my daughter would have her own room & a huge yard to play in like I did. My husband was extremely supportive through it all, he was my rock.

Fast foward almost 4 years later since we moved in. I am now 36 a SAHM with my 2nd baby due August 20th. I still do all the housework & cooking, my husband (35) still does all the yard work & household maintenance while working a demanding stressful full time job. He also has a successful side business cutting lawns on the weekends. I have to clean up after my Dad like he's a kid, I feel like his maid. HE DOES NOTHING! He is so lazy he won't even take the garbage out. He will watch me do his laundry, vacuum, do dishes, cook. Then he will leave his crap laying around everywhere knowing I will pick up his messes just like my Mom did. He is now 67 years old, in good health, doing good mentally again. He gets a $1300 Social security check a month & has a part time job at Walmart making anywhere from $800-$1200 a month. So he isn't broke anymore.

We started by giving him $800 a month. We were supposed to split the bills but when my husband got his raise a few years ago we started paying $1000 a month. $720 for mortgage the other $280 for the other bills. We recently found out he is only having to come up with not even $250 some months for his share of the bills. When we found out my husband was pissed. He feels completely taken advantage of & so do I. We pay for all of the groceries sometimes $400-$500 a month. I will buy things specifically for my 3 year old say like pudding and my Dad will sit there & eat the whole 6 pack. We also had to give him my husbands Dodge truck so he would have a vehicle to drive. So my husband drives our new SUV & my Dad has our truck! He has completely taken it over like it's owed to him to have it.

On top of that I see some of his credit card statements where he has been paying about $200 a month for porn & webcam porn. He has also been on dating websites sending money to women in their 30's & 40's. I am livid. We are paying all the bills while he is sending money like a dumbass to prostitutes. Porn is free why the hell is he paying for it? His phone rings last week & my daughter runs & hands it to me, I swipe to turn it off & up pops a text message from one of these girls asking for more money. So of course I read the message & he has been sending her Amazon gift cards. He is telling her he loves her, she is telling him she wants him to have babies with her😨 She is 3 years older than I am. Now don't get me wrong he is a grown ass man he can look at porn Idgaf but he is paying for it! This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of in my life. None of these girls want a relationship with a 67 year old man unless it's a sugar daddy.

When he works he gets home from Walmart around 10:30pm & stays up watching TV until 3-4am. He will go to his room and sleep for a few hours then come down in the living room about 8am sleeping in his recliner until 11am & gets pissed if his 3 year old grand daughter wakes him up. We have to walk around the house we are paying for like mice so we don't wake him. I am over this whole situation. I feel like if I leave him I am abandoning him. I also am starting to resent him deeply for taking advantage of my husband & myself. Can he make it on his own? If he can't he will end up with us again anyway. This whole situation is taking a toll on my marriage. My husband feels like we are living in a prison.

We are looking for a house but haven't found one yet. Even if we found one today it wouldn't close until after I have my baby August 20th. So we are stuck here at least for a few more months. We want our lives back!

If you made it this far Thank You!

How do I handle this situation? What would you do? Am I wrong for wanting to leave my Dad behind? I feel like if he is okay enough to look for dates with 39 year old women he can certainly live on his own right?

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