I'm posting this anonymously because I've posted about this numerous of times here and honestly quite ashamed of how often I ask for advice in this situation. I'll do my best to keep it short and list all necessary facts.

My daughter is 2. Her father has not spent time with her but he pays child support. I've tried to help him see his daughter but he wouldn't show up (I have proof of this) and his wife wants a relationship with my daughter but has a problem with me (even though she says she doesn't). I've invited them both to outings and she has told me no and he has said yes and never shows up. We are in Texas. He began paying child support when my daughter was 5 months old and in TX there is a kids under age 3 visitation setup. The visits are to be completed in phases and those phases allow more time each visit up until the standard every other weekend. His problem is (so he claims) is that he doesn't want me there when he sees his daughter. A couple of times I said okay how about we try this out and you can pick her up, keep her for the night or weekend his choice and I'll come to you to get her. He said okay but never did it. His wife told me that I am not putting my child first because she feels like I don't need to be at the visits and I need to have someone else do it not understanding that our court order says I decide if I want to go or have someone I trust do it. No one wants to get involved because they don't want to get in the middle of the confusion. I don't blame them. He & I agreed that for at minimum of 1 visit I will be there and see how things go. It's a 4 hours visit. We agreed to meet at a mall he did not show. When he calls it has gone from once every couple of months now to every maybe 4-5. The last time we actually spoke was in March. He says he will call but he doesn't. I don't think I've hindered him having his daughter. I've done nothing but try to encourge him and he doesn't want that I guess. My other concern is if he doesn't want me at the visits what happens when she gets older and I attend events for my daughter. He and his wife won't go because I'm there? I feel sad for my daughter but I'm just trying to follow the court order since he feels like he's too good to sit down and work out another plan with me for our child. To top it off his wife has all of these opinions and trying to tell me what to do(she is 18 years older than me. 16 older than him) and I can't take this anymore. I told her it's my duty and right as my child's mother to make sure she is okay because they are strangers to her. Sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth and all I want is to help change that for my daughter's sake. I can say I've been pretty easy going about this but now I'm just getting angry. He threatens court most times when we do actually talk and says he wants it setup so he can have her 50% of the time to come off of child support or to try to make me pay and it's childish. I told him I'd have no issue with taking him off but he needs to prove he will help because prior to child support his only requirement was to help with daycare and he didn't. That's all I asked. Idk what to do anymore. I've tried conversing with his wife in good faith to show him I have no issue with her and she just went off the deep end telling me I must still have feelings for him because he hasn't seen his daughter and that I'm to blame. Saying certain things to me based off what he said and it isn't the whole story. I don't owe them anything so I didn't care to correct her. I just wanted to let her know I have no ill will or feelings. I'm just around to support my daughter and her father's bond however I can. When did that become a bad thing? I'm at my wits end and not sure what else to do. I see so many women bad mouthing and giving their ex or child's father a really hard time and here I am doing the calling and texting and driving to agreed meetups so he can pickup his child or visit with her and he doesn't show up. Honestly it makes me feel like shit. I feel like I keep trying and trying to make him happy because I want my daughter to know I did EVERYTHING possible and all I got was his and his wife's asses to kiss and talked down to and about just because I'm her mother. How do I stop allowing this tear me down and what more can I do to encourage him to spend time with his child? Hell I even offered to give his daughter to his parents for a day and he can stop by their place to see her if my presence pisses him off that badly but he just won't do it. I'm so stressed behind this.