I hate me

Every single day I think in this past month if not longer. Here and there I keep getting saying in my head "I hate me" "I want to hurt me" etc. I'm trying to take it as a phase and wait for it to pass cos normally it does pass. But still it feels consistent and relentless. Idk guys I guess I'm just sad.

I am getting help. But everything feels like slow progress and I feel so alone sometimes. And honestly it's kinda scary to have these thoughts pass through my mind while I'm doing every day things like watching tv.

And I find it so crazy how normal I can look on the outside and how horrible I can feel on the inside. I'm maintaining and moving forward with my life but it's hard. I've been drawing every day so far for this month which is a huge achievement for me. But still the "I hate me" thought persists.