I just want to end it all

I was diagnosed with depression, social anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and a sensory disorder. I know right I'm a pretty fucked up kid. I'm only 17 and I've attempted 3 times I've self harmed still am my dad found out tried to get me to stop made me go to counseling I refused it. I can't do this anymore my mom died when I was 15 my sisters moved out already I love my family but I don't feel loved I've refused my meds. I went down the wrong path started smoking weed doing drugs drinking getting into trouble. I'm just tired of being the so called "fucked up child" So this is a goodbye ✌

UPDATE: Well guess is in a fucking psych ward cause I tried to commit again my dad found me on the floor and idk what happened from there but I'm guessing that I freaked out on the nurses and they tried to hold me down but ig that I was to strong 3 police officers had to hold me down when I woke up my wrists hurt they handcuffed me the nurse told me that I was crying and I was screaming and that I held a syringe to me head saying "whats the point in living when I could just take my life rn" Or "im sorry dad but I will do it" After I said those things my dad told me that I had a panic attack (i struggle with those) huh now I see why people think that I'm fucked up