Fearing Grief (33+4weeks)

I am 33 weeks and 4 days pregnant and my baby is due exactly one week after the anniversary of my miscarriage. As the one year mark of losing my first baby draws closer, I am terrified. I am fearful of the grief I will feel. I am scared that the trauma could cause something to go wrong with my current pregnancy. I know I have so much to be happy for, a pregnancy that is healthy and has had no complications this far, a loving supportive husband, getting this far into this pregnancy, this new tiny life my body is growing, yet I worry about my emotional state for the next couple of months. I just want to know that I’m not alone in being afraid of the grief, of the unknown response my mind and body might have to this Anniversary. Please don’t get me wrong, I am so blessed and beyond joyful about being pregnant right now, I am also just scared. I am so in love with this tiny little girl growing inside my belly. I cannot wait to meet her. But it also seems so unfair that I have her when I couldn’t have her sister. I just want to know that this is normal, I guess.

Here is my weekly update picture for this week.