Am I being insensative?
Just had a massive argument with my partner. We are in an interracial relationship, I'm mixed British and Jamaican and he is French but we live in England.
He works in an industry where he is subjected to some really awful behaviour because of his accent, especially with the current brexit situation. He gets funny looks, ignored, people telling him to learn English (his English is very good but he has a thick accent), one guy even called the office and asked them to send an English person.
I get it must be hard, I try to support him, I am on call all day just incase he needs me to speak to a customer, I have sympathized, made complaints on his behalf, I listen and try to understand and have continued to do so for almost 2 years.
Anyway, he comes home today for lunch, I'm on maternity leave so I cook for him since he comes home to check I'm ok anyway.
He starts making jokes about immigrants in France 🙄, I point out that here in England he is the immigrant and he flips out, telling me I don't understand how difficult it is for him 🤨. At this point I'm fuming, as a mixed race, Brown person in England I face prejudice related behaviours DAILY!!! Not based on my accent but on my skin. Nobody knows he isn't English till he speaks, people simply look at me and because of my skin colour act accordingly. As a person born here my French partner is more accepted as English than I am.
This pissed him off because I apparently make everything about race or racism 😡. In response I tell him he doesn't understand his own Priviledge as a white person and remind him that when our mixed race baby is born he will have no choice but to deal with this stuff because she will be forced to handle it for the rest of her life.
He walks off saying maybe we shouldn't be having a baby, he didn't have to deal with this shit with his other kids (his older children are white with both parents french).... because of this dusgusting comment I've locked him out.
I try to be sensitive to his feelings and situation, I've tried to accommodate his needs at every turn but not once has he engaged or attempted to understand how I may feel when I'm treat the same if not worse. I feel all the effort for cultural understanding is one way. Then he question if we should be having a baby 6 weeks before she is due 🤬 because have white children is easier😡😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬.
Was I wrong to point out during his moment of self pity that he isn't the only person who is treated badly because of a characteristic out of their control? Should I have just listened as usual?
Vote below to see results!