I just wanted to point this out for anyone who needs to hear it. I had my heart set on exclusive nursing for 4 weeks, then introducing a bottle filled with pumped breast milk. Then my baby spent 6 days in the NICU where she received formula bottles.

When we got home I tried nursing knowing it wasn’t going to be easy. The NICU doctor said we needed to still offer a bottle after feedings to maintain/increase her weight. I started to feel like a failure because my daughter would scream with hunger even after nursing me for 40 minutes. She was barely gaining the minimum in weight even with nursing followed by bottle feedings.

I made an appointment with a lactation consultant to see what was going on. It turns out that the anatomy of her tongue and lips makes it so that she can not maintain a latch and suckle properly. The nurse did a before and after precise weight check that showed she was only getting 1/2 ounce of milk from me and that was most likely from me massaging it into her mouth. I was told that the combination of her anatomy and the fact that the NICU introduced bottles meant nursing is nearly impossible for her.

We are now exclusively pumping and I’m trying to build up my production. The nurse said it’s very likely I won’t be able to keep up with her and may need to supplement with formula, but I need to do whatever my daughter needs to stay healthy and keep growing.

I wanted to share my story so other moms can see that sometimes things just don’t work out as you planned, but as long as you feed your baby you are a good mom. The lactation nurse commended me for trying so hard and told me I am doing such a great job and my daughter is lucky to have me. I needed to hear that. So if you’re in a similar situation and you’re feeling down on yourself: please don’t. You are doing great!