I just had my LO at the very end of January. (due February 13th) When he turned 4 months I started having these weird break downs. Like I’d cry for no reason and get upset over little things and I worry about things I shouldn’t.

I used to cry sometimes at night from being exhausted when we first brought him home and now that he’s sleeping through the night I cry even more because I miss our nighttime routine. I feel like night time was “me time” even though I hated waking up every 2 hours. Now that that’s over I miss it so bad. That was my time to enjoy my baby and watch him sleep and just take a breather and have time to myself while my husband slept. Now I can’t sleep at night. I stay awake till almost 3-4am some nights.

My other issue is severe baby fever. Like my LO is coming up on 6 months and me and my husband always said we wanted to wait till he was out of diapers before we started TTC again but now I’m so focused on wanting another one but I want another for all the wrong reasons right now. I want another cause I want to be pregnant again. I never missed it right after I had him but now I extremely miss it. I was so happy to have him and not be pregnant anymore in the beginning g but once he hit 4 1/2 months I missed it so bad. I think it’s because he’s just progressing so fast. He’s almost crawling and has 2 teeth and I just want it to slow down. I do eventually want another and if it happens it happens but I’m like so obsessed with wanting another one just so I can be pregnant again right now.

I also just have these crazy mood swings. I’ll be fine 1 minute then the next I’m balling my eyes out then I get frustrated easily and upset over every little thing then I go back to being fine again. It’s almost like pms but ALL THE TIME.

I need to go to the dr to talk to them but I don’t have insurance right now. I’m trying to get that straight before I go but it’s taking a while. Idk what to do and I feel like I’m going crazy and driving my husband crazy in the process. He tries to understand but he just can’t. I feel bad cause I see him trying so hard to relate. I’ve started relying heavily on my MIL. Talking to her helps but I know I need the drs help. I just don’t know what to do. The biggest problem I have out of everything is wanting another baby. I wish that my husband would just try for another but I know that won’t help my situation at all. I just don’t know what to do to get rid of these feelings. It took me a long time to confess to my husband about my issues cause I didn’t want him to be disappointed(even though I know he wouldn’t be). I just felt that if I was going through all this and admitted it I’d be labeled a bad mom. I also just don’t like my husband to worry about me. He worries about me enough as it is lol and I don’t want to add more to that. I felt so much better after telling him and my MIL. I still just don’t really think they are understanding of what exactly I’m going through. I haven’t told my side of the family because they have a lot going on. My great grandmother is getting older and she isn’t doing good. I don’t want to worry my family with this when they have that going on. The only people that know are my husband, MIL, and now you. I just don’t know what to do or where to turn at this point...